Fanboys have been in a bit of a tizzy since the re-release of Final Fantasy VII on the PC.

Mind you, it’s merely a re-release. Nothing about the game has been updated, aside from the fact that there are achievements now. And they’re all awful. Every single one of them.

And here’s the complete list.

• End of Part I: Complete the first part of the game
• End of Part II: Complete the second part of the game
• End of Game: Complete Final Fantasy VII
• Master Materia: Reach the maximum level of any Materia
• Master of Gil: 99,999,999 Gil
• Top Level: Reach level 99 with any character
• Knights of the Round: Get materia Knights of the Round
• Omnislash: Get Cloud’s last Limit Break
• Catastrophe: Get Barret’s last Limit Break
• Chaos: Get Vincent’s last Limit Break
• Great Gospel: Get Aeris’s last Limit Break
• Highwind: Get Cid’s last Limit Break
• Final Heaven: Get Tifa’s last Limit Break
• All Creation: Get Yuffie’s last Limit Break
• Cosmo Memory: Get Red XIII’s last Limit Break
• Slots: Get Cait Sith’s last Limit Break
• Bahamut Zero: Get materia Bahamut Zero
• Ultimate Weapon: Defeat the Ultimate Weapon
• Diamond Weapon: Defeat the Diamond Weapon
• Ruby Weapon: Defeat the Ruby Weapon
• Emerald Weapon: Defeat the Emerald Weapon
• Vincent: Get Vincent on your team
• Yuffie: Get Yuffie on your team
• Materia Overlord: Master all Materias
• Battle Square: Start a battle in Battle Square
• Golden Feather: Get a Gold Chocobo
• Won First Battle: Win your first battle
• Braver: Use Cloud’s first Limit Break
• Big Shot: Use Barrett’s first Limit Break
• Galian Beast: Use Vincent’s first Limit Break
• Healing Wind: Use Aeris’s first Limit Break
• Boost Jump: Use Cid’s first Limit Break
• Beat Rush: Use Tifa’s first Limit Break
• Greased Lightning: Use Yuffie’s first Limit Break
• Sled Fang: Use Red XIII’s first Limit Break
• Dice: Use Cait Sith’s first Limit Break

All that list says to me is “Hey, we’re lazy.” An incredible number of missed opportunities, perhaps using the dating scenarios at the Golden Saucer, or dodging Elena’s punch in Icicle Village, or protecting the Phoenix at Fort Condor.

Seriously. Dozens of things that could’ve added a bit of extra flavor to this re-release and every single one of them was overlooked.